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X_loveandguns
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Name: Joy
Metro:
Gender: Female
Interests: Love, music, tv, food, friends, fun, sleep. Umm...I think that about covers it.
Expertise: Expertise? Me? Yeah, good one.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Web Design/Computer Science
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
7/8/2005
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| I was just sitting here watching Romey & Michelle's High School Reunion (no, not because I like it, because there's nothing else on, I swear!) and it was showing a scene from a prom. I started thinking about how much I missed out on when I was in highschool. At prom, I might have had four slowdances at the most with my boyfriend at the time, and that was it. It was so lame. I mean, at the time I was satisfied with that, but looking back now, that sounds SO lame. I was envisioning sitting alone at prom and watching some guy I had a crush on from across the room in hopes he'd asked me to dance. But I never got the opportunity or the butterflies in my stomach at prom. I've never slowdanced with anyone but that boyfriend, and I feel sad because of that. I missed out on eligible singles having one meaningless dance with me. Or maybe it would have been meaningful, but still. I never got the pleasures of going to parties just to sit around and act stupid. I never got to go on dates or to the movies with a guy I hardly knew just to get to know him, or even a guy friend. I never got to flirt, or date around. I stayed with pretty much one guy my entire high school life. Don't get me wrong, I don't regret it. I believe that everything falls into place accordingly in life, so that's the way it should have been. Sometimes, though, I wish that I would have got to have more fun. I would not give up my current boyfriend for anything in the world. I love Jerry with all of my heart. (If you read this, dear, don't think that's what I mean, k? Seriously!) But I missed out on so much way back then. I'm happy where I am now. It's time to grow up and stop being such a kid. I'm not concerned with parties or who's gonna be where. I don't really care because I'm in a good place now. But back then, I suppose I should have cut loose while I could have. Oh well. What's done is done and that's that. Those were just my current thoughts. Night night :)
Bye <3
x_joy
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| You know, as the days go by, I realize more and more than I'm going to have to let go. The last few years of my life have been about "finding" friends and then learning to let them go. When I got to highschool, everyday my friends from elementary school and I grew farther and farther away. By the end of highschool, I had a couple of those friends, but countless new faces. I could relate and get along with these new people more. But again, I had to let them go when I graduated, and now I don't speak to them either. Then my hopes got up, because I thought I could get a clean slate in college and meet even more, unique, individual people who I could learn to get along with. I think I could count on one hand how many people I've come out of college with as friends. No, not even that many. And sadly, I don't see any of them wanting a thing to do with me even as short a time period as by next fall. People I had in classes last year, ones I actually got the courage to speak to, I haven't seen since then. Life just seems so lonely and empty. Just a routine that I have to go through. I don't even bother talking to people anymore, because I know I won't see them again, and I can't have sad feelings about it all if I never have feelings about anyone to begin with, right? That's a horrible way to view things, I know, but I'm clingy, and every single person I've met in my whole life has meant something to me, and I never forget them. Letting go is so difficult. I don't want to go through real life. I want to go back to high school when everyone sat around and talked about things that didn't matter at all. When I could go home and flop down on my bed and sleep for hours and I didn't have a thing to do except sleep. When people still called me just to talk about the most random things, or just to see how I was or what was going on. None of those things happen anymore. It's just me, so it seems, getting up everyday at an hour that I hate. Me, going to work at a 100 degree kitchen for minimum wage. Me, going to a college full of couples and friends when I walk by myself. Me, coming home and arguing with my parents or boyfriend about things that probably aren't going to be important later. Me, hating my routine, my feelings about my life, my feelings about myself, and other things. I miss simplicity. I miss my friends. I miss feeling like anyone gives a shit. But life goes on, and I have to let go.
x_joy
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| Wow...I haven't wrote in this thing in a lonnnnnggg time. I miss this site. Myspace is so uninteresting. It's all about how many friends you have or who has the hottest or coolest pix and videos. Xanga is about caring what's happening in someone's life. About reading their thoughts and what goes on with them. You know, the important stuff. So anyway, I don't really care if you read this or not, because I know everyone is wrapped up in myspace, but if you do, I hope you enjoy.
Right now, I'm sitting in web design class listening to Daniel and Tyler's asshole comments. Such sweethearts. I go to Roane State now, by the way. It pretty much blows but I have to get a piece of paper saying I'm good at something from somewhere, right? Well, I'm gonna go work on some web design projects. I only have 4 more days of class left. Yes! K, later guys.
<3 Joy | | |
| Yeah, well I exchanged those huge heels for something that I can actually walk in. They aren't near as pretty but whatever. At least they're comfy, right?
Um, I got a job at Arrowhead Resort in the restaurant part. (For those of you Dayton kids that have no idea what the hell I'm talking about, it's just this little marina on Watts Bar Lake with a little restaurant. Little--but good!) I'm a cook/dishwasher. It's such a great job. Plus, the location couldn't be anymore convenient. I mean, it's right down the road and it's so easy. I know basically everyone that works there, too. Freaking cool, eh?
Other than that, not a lot has been going on. Same old, same old. I just keep praying everyday that God keeps me in good spirits and my life going well. I've been working so hard to do my best and to look on the brighter side of things. I think I've deserved a little good out of life. 
Bye <3.
x_joy
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| Today I went prom shopping with Jessica and her
mom. I got me these hugeass heels. Yeah, needless to say
I'm gonna fall and bust my ass at prom. Please don't laugh at me
too much. I'll be sad. Hehe. Ummm...I got this little
purse and some hair barets (sp?), too. I'm so excited. I
never thought I'd be so happy about prom but I am. I usually hate
this kinda shit but I guess I like to look pretty every now and
then. It makes me feel good. 
I'm not quite sure what my plans are for the rest of
spring break. Guess we'll see. Hope you guys have fun on
your break. Much love.
Bye <3.
x_joy
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